Things you will never understand

Order yourself a latte, and a pastry (The virtual cinnamon buns are excellent today). And have a nice chat.

Re: Things you will never understand

Postby StokeySue » April 28th, 2018, 3:43 pm

On the subject of lounging and relaxing... I have a friend (and I know she's not alone, and suspect it's a bit of a Marmite thing) who at the end of the day is desperate to remove her bra in order to be comfortable
I have asked her why she doesn't occasionally buy a bra that fits her? But apparently that's a silly question, though I have pointed out that I am pretty well endowed, and I find wearing a properly fitting bra more comfortable, unless sitting stock still
What I don't understand is why anyone would put up with being uncomfortable all day every day for years when there is no need to :?
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby PurpleLuv » April 28th, 2018, 4:42 pm

It’s not a comfort thing for me Sue, I find it relaxing & part of my routine, make up off, bra off & dressing gown on. :luv:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby suffolk » April 28th, 2018, 5:03 pm

I've found there comes a stage in life when I'm more comfortable with my bra on than off :rolleyes: :oops:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Zosherooney » April 28th, 2018, 5:33 pm

I'm an off girl, have been measured properly in the past, paid a lot of money and have been in severe discomfort.... I do not like zee bustenhalter !!!!!
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby uschi » April 28th, 2018, 5:44 pm

I'm an on girl and always have been. Triumph's "Doreen" fits me perfectly, is comfortable and gives a good shape.
I'm a 42 C, so medium well endowed.

OH likes different bras, but Doreen is one of the comfiest models for me.
Unless one is very, very mooh, there's no excuse for badly fitting and uncomfortable bras.

As for housewear that is everybody's own business.

Outside ... well, what with summer nearly upon us, I'd prefer some men wear PJs rather than old shorts that treat the rest of the world to a clear view of free range eggs (balls).

Oh, my father wore long nightshirts (he had Crohn's disease and found them comfier than PJs) in bed, and very smart he looked in them, too, since they were the kind with collar and breastpocket. :tu: :lol: 8-)
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Zosherooney » April 28th, 2018, 6:29 pm

I have my black with red roses fleecy ones for winter. Mahmoods wife in Enders had a pair too ! Tesco's finest. I also have a black silky pair with silver stitching (chinese collar and covered buttons and loops) very stylish ! These come into play during the warmer months. They popped out for an airing during 'Summer' 10 days ago. Or I wear my Egyptian gallibaya for comfort. I do have 5 of them now long and short sleeved and the cotton - being egyptian is superb.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » April 28th, 2018, 6:57 pm

When I was in my last job, and probably the one before that, the first thing I'd do when I got home was undo my bra, remove arms from straps through my clothing, drop the bra to the floor, scoop it up with a big toe, fling it high in the air and grab it and put it in my undies drawer, or laundry bin, whichever. Alas, only my cats would be lucky enough to glimpse such a majestic feat. :lol:

I have never found bras comfortable. I was fitted properly once but the fitter really did get it all wrong and I was seriously disappointed not to mention out of pocket.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Rocky » April 28th, 2018, 8:45 pm

PurpleLuv wrote:It’s not a comfort thing for me Sue, I find it relaxing & part of my routine, make up off, bra off & dressing gown on. :luv:

Me too - apart from dressing gown. Comfortable well fitting bra at work but shoes and bra off as soon as I'm home!
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » April 28th, 2018, 10:13 pm

I just had a memory flashback about going out in bed wear, but first, I also was once a member of a health club, mine was in a Hilton hotel and would swim at 6am each morning before work. I usually shared the small pool with one other lady at that time of day and it was just mutual etiquette to take a quick shower poolside before getting into the pool. Potentially we had both just got up out of bed. I know I had! It wouldn't have been the done thing to jump straight into the water.

PP, if you are still there, did your son's gym not have a dress code? I think I too would have taken my business elsewhere!

My memory flashback! I must have been about 14, sister about 11, we had not long moved with our mum to a house just round the corner from mum's parents and my mum had just learned to drive and purchased her first car. On many occasions of an evening after dinner, pj's / nighties on, mum would say 'Shall we go round and see nanny and granddad?' So we'd all hop out onto the front porch still in our bed wear, check up and down the street that nobody was looking then run to the car quick, drive round the corner to their house, do the same there to get to their door, then when we'd stopped there for a bit do the same thing again in reverse to get back indoors again! :lol: It would always be under the cover of darkness with plenty of naughty girl giggling! :lol:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby earthmaiden » April 28th, 2018, 10:23 pm

Not bothered about the bra - unless the weather is sweltering when it seems cooler without. But shoes .. oh yes! Hate wearing shoes or even slippers and can't wait to take them off when I get in!
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby scullion » April 29th, 2018, 9:16 am

Pepper Pig wrote: I am getting really fed up with you attacking me every time I have any kind of opinion scullion.

do you consider being asked why you have that opinion attacking?
do you consider that i'm being judgemental of you?
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby cyprusmoira » April 29th, 2018, 9:41 am

earthmaiden wrote:Hate wearing shoes or even slippers and can't wait to take them off when I get in!

ditto, I walk around the house in bare feet in summer, we have tiled floors

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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » April 29th, 2018, 10:09 am

I'm in the bare feet camp. I don't like my toes to feel trapped inside anything. Thick bed socks in winter for cosy toes when chilly though. Flip flops outside whenever possible weather or occasion permitting but never when cycling! Flip flops have been the cause of far too many cycling incidents (silly me).

I am unusually in trainers indoors though during this house move / unpack, which seems to be taking forever, as i am walking on very old and grubby floor tiles at the moment and until i can clear, sweep properly and give the whole place a thorough mop my bare feet are not coming into contact with it! Roll on carpets and feet freedom! :tu:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby StokeySue » April 29th, 2018, 10:13 am

I totally understand walking barefoot, but as I really suffer from cold tootsies, high summer only for me
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Seatallan » April 29th, 2018, 12:08 pm

It was always on a Sunday evening when I grew up. :D

I don't shower or bath before I go to the gym. What would be the point? I shower after I've worked out and swum.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby StokeySue » April 29th, 2018, 12:25 pm

Surely one showers on the way into the pool? There used to be notices in Center Parcs saying that they asked you to do this largely to remove deodorant and fragrance rather actual dirt, equally bad for the filtration system
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby suffolk » April 29th, 2018, 12:49 pm

StokeySue wrote:Surely one showers on the way into the pool?


I rarely use public pools*, but on the few occasions that I do I always shower immediately before getting in the water, as well as afterwards. All the public pools I've ever used appear to insist on it.

*not because I'm 'being funny', but indoor pools make me highly anxious due to a difficult experience as a child.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Hope » April 29th, 2018, 3:13 pm

I hate not wearing a bra. And i'm not particularly well endowed!

Also can't stand wearing my PJs during the day - it makes me feel like I must be ill!

Short skirts on cold days (with bare legs). similarly flip flops in cold weather. Or indeed flip flops at any time (so uncomfortable!) high heels, make up, fancy hairdos that take more than a minute to do (why bother?!), false eyelashes (but then mine are quite dark and thick - people always seem to think I've got mascara on), breakfast in bed (the crumbs).

tbh a lot of the things I don't understand I think now it's just they take too much energy and aren't worth it for me!
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Zosherooney » April 29th, 2018, 5:27 pm

It is either flip flops or bare feet in summer for me, although now that I am T2D I have been told I need to pay a lot more attention to my feet. Moisturise, and make sure that any sores/cuts are properly attended to or infection might set in.... :? Nursey was not happy to hear that I walk around barefoot in the garden (not the chicken area) :spank: :spank:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » April 29th, 2018, 5:53 pm

I feel weird not wearing a bra, and I probably kind of don’t need one, or not as much as some. If I am gardening I sometimes wear a vest top without one in the summer, and garden in fear of my neighbour appearing and looking over the fence. I suppose this is a bit like wearing nightmare in public... or not.

And why is it that whenever I nip out to put something in the bin (early morning) in my pjs and dressing gown that a neighbour appears?!

Re young people in skimpy clothes, I have seen them out in Sheffield in the middle of winter in t shirts and no jacket [i]and they don’t even have goosebumps[i] so I can only assume they aren’t cold. I do remember going to school in the sixth form in a pair so stilletos with no tights. Once. One does get used to the cold. I am now a nesh southerner I suppose.

I don’t get those leggings with mesh inserts that people seem to be so fond of at the moment.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby liketocook » April 29th, 2018, 6:50 pm

I hate walking about in my bare feet, don't mind bare feet in sandals etc. I also hate "toe post" flip flops etc. Tbh I'm not keen on feet full stop, even my own...

My biggest lovely discovery in recent years has been sports bra/crop tops. They are so comfy but also give decent support (I'm a DD cup)and more comfy if gardening etc. I like my bras to be wired but can find them a bit unforgiving if you are doing lots of bending.

I'm not a big fan of wearing my PJs during the day but happily live in yoga pants. I've also gone back to wearing nightdresses more often which don't work so well for being up and about but help with "temperature control" during the night. As for leggings I don't understand why short, squat folk (like me) think they are a good look ;)
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby suffolk » April 29th, 2018, 7:12 pm

Herbidacious wrote:I don’t get those leggings with mesh inserts that people seem to be so fond of at the momen


Oooh, I've not seen those ... I shall have to keep my eyes open ... perhaps we're a bit behind the times in Norfolk ... or perhaps I'm a bit slow in noticing :oops: :lol:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Grasshopper » April 29th, 2018, 7:19 pm

I always have something on my feet - even if it's just my old crocs, & couldn't wear nightwear all day. We have a couple of neighbours who even put their washing out in their dressing gowns! :shock: Not me! If I am getting up, then I get dressed :tu:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » April 29th, 2018, 7:32 pm

I have also ditched the under wired bras in favour of the sporty crop top style bras. Especially good for running or playing squash. I must get some new ones. Mine seem to have disappeared in the move and I can't get my hands up round my back to do up a regular bra, although I have managed front fastening then twisting.

An embarrassing story about hanging out washing in PJ's. When I wear PJ's that's all I wear as in no undies. TMI? :lol: Anyway, when I was really quite poorly and living in my last house I lost quite a lot of weight so most of my clothes became quite loose! I had laundry to put out. I was wearing PJ's. Arms went up to peg washing on line, bottoms went down! To this day I have no idea if anyone saw. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I just pulled them up and ran in. :oops: :lol:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Grasshopper » April 29th, 2018, 7:48 pm

OMG Tezza, hopefully no one was watching! :shock:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » April 29th, 2018, 8:01 pm

I walked round in are feet a lot growing up, which has its hazards, so I got into the habit of walking on tip toes. Stopped doing it when undergrad flat mates kept laughing at me.

I can’t bear to wear flip flops. I hate the feeling of the thong thing between my toes ( :D ) I also have a bit of a rule about not wearing footwear I can’t easily run in. I think those would go under that heading for me. I have a colleague at work who says the Brits all wear flip flops wrongly. (She has Australian connections.)

I live in sandals in the summer. I don’t like wearing bare feet in shoes or plimsolls.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby suffolk » April 29th, 2018, 8:13 pm

Herbidacious wrote:I can’t bear to wear flip flops. I hate the feeling of the thong thing between my toes


Same here ... makes me feel all squirmy and shivery :scared:
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby WWordsworth » April 29th, 2018, 8:30 pm

Must admit I regularly peg washing out in my dressing gown..
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Amber » April 29th, 2018, 9:46 pm

How can you wear flip flops wrong?

I have cold feet, so it has to be high summer before I go sockless, and a heatwave before I go barefoot.

I’m considering a sports bra crop top too. Is it because I am a woman of a certain age, or are they becoming very fashionable?
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby mum-at-the-oven » April 29th, 2018, 10:07 pm

In my youth I could wear flip flops or go barefoot. Unfortunately after a traumatic period in my early thirties I developed psoriasis and it now badly affects my finger and toe nails as well as delivering me with arthritis. I currently have 6 of my fingernails lifting from the nail bed which I am desperately trying to hold on to and any trauma to my toes will cause me to lose a nail too.

I hate that when it's really hot in the summer that I have to wear trainers to protect my toes but that's better than losing a toe nail.

I find bras uncomfortable too and during the day around the house I wear those "sport type" ones from the Poundshop. If I go out then I will wear a proper bra but it's replaced as soon as I can decently discard it - but that's usually when I am alone or just with OH present. Again though that has been in more recent years when psoriasis struck and causes much irritation. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Lil'Abby » April 30th, 2018, 4:45 am

Oh, I sympathise MATO. I have had psoriasis all my life, I've lost both big toenails and my fingernails are atrocious! My psoriasis was at it's worst from 6 years old to around 22, then they magically started to disappear leaving me with just one or two on my body (although in and around my ears has always been bad and still is) but suddenly, aged 55 they've started to reappear and I'm going through the pain of the 'splits' all over again. So painful... :(
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby earthmaiden » April 30th, 2018, 5:39 am

Since starting shift work 20 years ago my day is sometimes night and vice versa. Long gone are the days when I cared what the neighbours or postman think. I don't think I observe many of the niceties I was brought up with either. Since we've nearly all got smartphones it has become almost rude to call on people unannounced .. I for one am thankful and do and wear what I like in my own house.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby PatsyMFagan » April 30th, 2018, 8:47 am

TeresaFoodie wrote:I have also ditched the under wired bras in favour of the sporty crop top style bras. Especially good for running or playing squash. I must get some new ones.


I find those kind of sports bras useless ... comfortable maybe, but useless .. I have 2 sports bras from M&S, both of them underwired that giving plenty of the support I need for Zumba. It's not that I am particularly endowed but the crop top styles just leave too much room for movement ! ;) :oops: ..
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » April 30th, 2018, 3:51 pm

Amber wrote:How can you wear flip flops wrong?

?

Quite!
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » April 30th, 2018, 9:34 pm

I will never understand why anyone would want to spend hours and hours week in week out on the likes of an X-box, gaming with complete strangers from all over the world, getting lost in the noises from their headphones or directly from their TV speakers, shouting and screaming at a screen whilst shooting make believe bullets at make believe people, often disturbing those around them!

I can slightly understand the addictive nature of the beast. I got hooked on Tomb Raider in the late eighties, but as a twenty something with better things to do, I soon got bored. I often hear at least one middle aged man and his friends in this block during the day when the sun is shining out there having full blown arguments with each other whilst the sound of heavy gun fire fills the air on full base! Each to their own, but there must be more to life than that, plus are they thinking of their ear drums?
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » May 2nd, 2018, 10:16 am

Did someone mention tattooed eyebrows here? If anyone is interested, they did a live eyebrow tattoo on Lorraine this morning. They first used the model to use make up products which looked horrendous, I thought, but the very subtle tattoo that was done afterwards looked incredibly natural. I am still very dark and hairy in the eyebrow department and have to pluck stray underneath hairs almost daily to keep them in check, so not something for me yet, but now seeing results on TV I can understand why someone would go for this procedure.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » May 2nd, 2018, 12:02 pm

TeresaFoodie wrote:I will never understand why anyone would want to spend hours and hours week in week out on the likes of an X-box, gaming with complete strangers from all over the world, getting lost in the noises from their headphones or directly from their TV speakers, shouting and screaming at a screen whilst shooting make believe bullets at make believe people, often disturbing those around them!

I can slightly understand the addictive nature of the beast. I got hooked on Tomb Raider in the late eighties, but as a twenty something with better things to do, I soon got bored. I often hear at least one middle aged man and his friends in this block during the day when the sun is shining out there having full blown arguments with each other whilst the sound of heavy gun fire fills the air on full base! Each to their own, but there must be more to life than that, plus are they thinking of their ear drums?


It is literally addictive, I think? Maybe some people are more prone to it than others.
A friend's 7 year old (last time I saw him) seemed worrying addicted to computer games and cartoons. He was uncomfortable if not having access to either, and nothing else seemed interesting to him. Not even food. Hopefully he has now grown out of it (in which case it wasn't a true addiction, I suppose.)
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Zosherooney » May 2nd, 2018, 12:45 pm

I think like that about gambling....... I just don't understand the additiction...... you can't win, so why do it...... ?
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby cyprusmoira » May 2nd, 2018, 2:00 pm

Zosherooney wrote:I think like that about gambling.

I read that as gardening, you can't win there either :lol:

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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » May 2nd, 2018, 3:39 pm

I don't think that addiction is the same as a habit, although it maybe on a continuum with it, so it's very hard to understand. It involves the rational part of your brain being overridden by a non-rational more primitive part. i.e. it's irrational activity.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby suffolk » May 2nd, 2018, 4:35 pm

There was a discussion on R4 this morning about addiction and whether or not sex addiction was a real addiction.

Someone said that to be an addiction something had to cause physical harm when the addict was deprived of it (i.e. heroin, alcohol).

Other things were 'compulsions'.

That made sense to me.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby mum-at-the-oven » May 2nd, 2018, 5:13 pm

Lil'Abby wrote:Oh, I sympathise MATO. I have had psoriasis all my life, I've lost both big toenails and my fingernails are atrocious! My psoriasis was at it's worst from 6 years old to around 22, then they magically started to disappear leaving me with just one or two on my body (although in and around my ears has always been bad and still is) but suddenly, aged 55 they've started to reappear and I'm going through the pain of the 'splits' all over again. So painful...


Horrible isn't it! Painful, embarrassing and unsightly too - I do sympathise :(
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » May 2nd, 2018, 8:17 pm

I think addictive behaviour could be regarded as a type of obsessive compulsive behaviour or disorder. OCDs and addiction both involve irrational behaviour and thought processes (or non-thought processes) and it's that that it's hard to understand, especially when someone is aware of the irrationality and yet doesn't not seem to be able to act accordingly. Addicts are, as you say, also physically dependent on the substance they abuse.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Gruney » May 3rd, 2018, 1:32 pm

I've always understood addiction stems from the subconscious mind, which is more powerful than the conscious mind, recognising and remembering substances or activities which previously gave pleasure, a buzz, call it what you will - and directing the addict to repeat the activity, to recapture that pleasure or buzz, even though the conscious mind logically knows it's probably a bad idea. It's obviously more complicated than that, but that's the gist.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby StokeySue » May 3rd, 2018, 1:52 pm

I don't think it's the subconsciuis so much as actual brain chemistry with true addiction.. Tge subcoscious might have a role in compuksion and in relapse - notoriously the physical addiction to heroin clears quite rapidly, but the urge for a shot clears very slowly
One of the suggestions in the BBC article was that some addictive behaviours in people who are depressed, with low serotonin levels, might be activities that temporarily give a spike in serotonin levels
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby WWordsworth » May 3rd, 2018, 4:07 pm

physical addiction to heroin clears quite rapidly, but the urge for a shot clears very slowly


Not that I have ever taken anything like that, but when I stopped smoking I found the habit harder to deal with than the addiction.
I had a shop in those days and when I closed at 6pm I looked forward to a cup of tea and a cigarette.
After a few weeks I no longer craved the cigarette but having just the cup of tea felt all wrong, somehow unbalanced if you know what I mean.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby StokeySue » May 3rd, 2018, 4:33 pm

Yes. I've had th esame problem with cigarettes. No urge to smoke but feel there should be something there that isn't when my hands are empty
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby suffolk » May 3rd, 2018, 4:45 pm

It's taken me over 20 years to be able to enjoy a pint of beer in a pub without feeling the need to be lighting a ciggie ... the smoking ban has certainly helped ... but today we had lunchtime drinks in the yard at The Lamb , where you can smoke and some people were smoking ... but I've just realised that today I didn't feel the need to get a packet of ciggies out of my bag :D :tu:
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby TeresaFoodie » May 3rd, 2018, 4:52 pm

This subject of addiction, compulsion, habit is very thought provoking.

For years it would be a habit at home to crack open a bottle of wine to share when preparing certain meals a-la-Keith Floyd. Not every night! Just certain meals. I can't afford to do that now! But sometimes it still crosses my mind that it would be nice to have a glass of red on the go! That is definitely a happy memory thought that makes that cross my mind, not the actual need or want for the effect or taste of wine. I'd never really given that much thought until now. Probably the same with my mum after she has something to eat e.g. our trips to Sainsbury's cafe before shopping. A cigarette has to follow the food before we start to shop. I am sure if she had to wait until after we'd shopped the worst that would happen is she would get very ratty! I'm not sure if it is common for a smoker to want to smoke after a meal as I have never smoked.
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Re: Things you will never understand

Postby Herbidacious » May 3rd, 2018, 10:02 pm

That could just be because it is nice to have a glass of red wine on the go though, Tezza?! :)

I sort of smoked for about a year while I was going out with a disreputable boyfriend. I was never physically addicted, but it took years before I stopped being a party smoker. i.e on the rare occasions I was out having a drink with a group of people, I was tempted and often succumbed.

Addicts' brains change while the addict is in active addiction, and it's this change that may lead to the intense psychological cravings once physical dependence has been cracked. Behaviour patterns are 'etched' into the brain somehow. (I am not being terribly scientific...) I once read that if an addict can get to six months without a lapse or relapse, they have a good chance of staying sober - this roughly corresponds to the time it takes for the brain to recover and become more like a 'normal' person's brain again. How this works or happens I don't know. I suspect the changes made by the addiction are not erased, but covered over by new patterns. I find it rather interesting...

Perhaps by subconscious you are referring to the more primitive part of the brain, Gruney. Sometimes referred to as the lizard brain. I am told by a writing friend that the subconscious officially does not exist ;)
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