THE DAILY YOKE

Order yourself a latte, and a pastry (The virtual cinnamon buns are excellent today). And have a nice chat.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Grasshopper » August 13th, 2019, 9:07 pm

Like that one, Gruney!!!!
:bounce:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » August 14th, 2019, 4:45 am

Its the way you tell ‘em ... :lol: ;)
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » August 14th, 2019, 4:21 pm

Two elderly ladies paying their last respects to the husband of one of them.

The widow says - "Such a shame - he died because he wouldn't tell anyone his blood group. But he was brave until the end - I'll always remember his last words of encouragement to me - be positive".
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Oat » August 14th, 2019, 4:40 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Grasshopper » August 14th, 2019, 7:30 pm

:lol: *groans* :lol:
:lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » August 15th, 2019, 2:12 pm

Oh dear oh dear oh dear :rolleyes: :lol: :lol: :lol:
“I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » August 15th, 2019, 2:22 pm

:? :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » August 15th, 2019, 9:22 pm

:lol:
Imagine peace
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » August 30th, 2019, 4:58 pm

Not really a joke ... but Chatterbox didn’t feel the right place for a sort of amusing foodie news item today

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/h ... 1.html?amp
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » August 30th, 2019, 5:53 pm

Funny - but what the dickens was flour to be used to feed the public doing being transported like that? :?
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » September 4th, 2019, 2:18 pm

Caesar manages to get a couple of tickets for the final - for himself and Brutus.

He arrives well before the start, and is enjoying the match, but no Brutus.

Eventually, Brutus turns up. "Sorry I'm late, Caesar - there was a traffic accident - chariots all over the place. What's the score?"

Caesar replied





Eight - two Brute.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » September 4th, 2019, 2:26 pm

:rolleyes: :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » December 12th, 2019, 11:48 am

An American travels to the West Coast of Ireland, to find out how they conduct their elections.

Well, says the local, you go into the little booth with a piece of paper showing a list of the people standing - you'll see a pencil, and you just put a cross againt the one you like the look of. The one with the most crosses wins.

The American - this all seems very simple, but aren't you worried about security?

No, says the old lad - we've thought about that. We tie a piece of string to the end of the pencil.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » December 12th, 2019, 12:00 pm

:tu: :lol:
“I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby aero280 » December 12th, 2019, 12:08 pm

:tu: :tu:
http://www.saabtechtalk.com/
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby aero280 » December 12th, 2019, 12:43 pm

Well, we hve just been to vote and I can confirm that all the pencils were present and tied on with string! :)
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby scullion » December 19th, 2019, 11:16 am

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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » December 19th, 2019, 11:58 am

You have to laugh or you’d cry and cry and cry ... and it’s wet enough around here and he’s proved he’s no help in a flood ... https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/11/boris-jo ... -11077415/
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » December 19th, 2019, 3:40 pm

I'm sure there is a 'Should've gone to Specsavers' joke there somewhere.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » January 4th, 2020, 11:14 pm

In 1827, Beethoven died. The general feeling was that he should be put in a glass coffin, with all his accoutrements, for the general public to pay their respects to the great man.

All went well for well over 100 years, until one day, there was a terrible scream from a lady visitor.

The curator rushed to the scene - "whatever's the matter, madam?"

"It was terrible - he moved".

"What do you mean, he moved?"

"He picked up his rubber, and started to wipe it over his manuscript!"

"Oh that's all right, madam - he's just slowly decomposing".
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » January 5th, 2020, 4:52 am

:rolleyes: :lol:
“I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby aero280 » January 31st, 2020, 4:06 pm

The Germans do have a sense of humour! :o

In their equivalent of the "Daily Mash", etc. there is an article warning all Germans to search through their Euro coins and spend the British issued ones "because they will be worthless after midnight" :D They even include pictures showing the way to identify British coins...

https://www.der-postillon.com/2020/01/b ... enzen.html
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby scullion » January 31st, 2020, 8:39 pm

aero280 wrote:The Germans do have a sense of humour!


if you ask the newer mercedes onboard, alexa/siri type thing to tell you a joke, it tells you that it's german and therefore has no sense of humour.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » January 31st, 2020, 9:18 pm

The depiction of fish and chips is humorous if nothing else!
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby hickybank » February 3rd, 2020, 8:53 pm

Having one of those embarrassing moments, when you realise there is no toilet paper & you have to do that awkward waddle with your trousers half down.
But not to worry I am almost at Aldi now.
Last edited by hickybank on February 4th, 2020, 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » February 3rd, 2020, 9:01 pm

:shock: :lol:
“I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » February 6th, 2020, 2:19 pm

Inspired by the Naturewatch thread.

Two cormorants on a perch. One says to the other - "Can you smell fish?"
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » February 6th, 2020, 2:22 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :tu:
“I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » February 6th, 2020, 9:35 pm

Apparently Liverpool FC tried to use Yul Brynner in an advertising campaign for a men's deoderant. It didn't take off. Yul never wore cologne.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » February 6th, 2020, 9:44 pm

:lol: groan- where do you get them from Gruney?
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby hickybank » February 6th, 2020, 10:06 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby suffolk » February 6th, 2020, 10:36 pm

Oh dear oh dear oh dear ............ :lol:
“I am not lost, for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” —Winnie-the-Pooh
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Grasshopper » February 9th, 2020, 8:59 pm

*groans*
:lol:
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And Summer dries the straw
Autumn gathers in the harvest
And Winter shuts the door

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