THE DAILY YOKE

Order yourself a latte, and a pastry (The virtual cinnamon buns are excellent today). And have a nice chat.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Chinchilla_lady » February 12th, 2018, 5:47 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Well Done, made Mr C and me roar with laughter.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby scullion » February 12th, 2018, 6:21 pm

love it.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » February 12th, 2018, 8:47 pm

Brilliant!
I either win, or I learn
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » February 12th, 2018, 10:11 pm

Caesar and Brutus get tickets for the final.

Brutus doesn't turn up until half time.

"Sorry I'm late, Caesar - there was an accident on the way here - chariots all over the place. What's the score?"

" 8 - 2 Brute".
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby karadekoolaid » February 13th, 2018, 2:39 am

Two young ladies go to their favourite restaurant to have dinner.
The restaurant is packed and there are no tables available. Most of the tables are occupied by couples.
One of the ladies took her mobile and made a call.
Staring pointedly at the tables, and in a very loud voice, she said:
" HELLO, my dear friend!! I´ve just arrived at the restaurant and I noticed your husband sitting here with another woman! If I were you, I´d get down here as quickly as you can!"
ZAP!! 5 men ran out of the restaurant, and two more fainted.
7 free tables!!!
" Bite off more than you can chew, then chew like Hell!"
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » February 13th, 2018, 7:24 am

:lol: :lol: .. reminds me of a time I was asked to take a publicity photo in a local wine bar mid afternoon. Before starting, I told the couples frequenting the chosen area what I was doing in case they didn't want to appear in the final photo ... there were some red faces - it is an effective way to clear a bar :lol: .
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby dennispc » February 14th, 2018, 9:40 am

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water
floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"
Every day is a good day, it's just that some days are better than others.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » March 4th, 2018, 5:25 pm

President Trump is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.
A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts, “Mickey Mouse!” This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.
Later, the secret service agent’s supervisor takes him aside and asks, “What in the world made you shout Mickey Mouse?”
Blushing, the agent replies, “I got nervous. I meant to shout Donald.... duck!”
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Zosherooney » March 4th, 2018, 11:29 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: Laffs out loud......!!!!
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby karadekoolaid » March 5th, 2018, 3:53 pm

I went to the zoo yesterday. It was terrible; worst zoo I've ever been to. It only had ONE dog. It was a Shitzu.
" Bite off more than you can chew, then chew like Hell!"
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » March 5th, 2018, 4:23 pm

Excellent!
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Luca » March 5th, 2018, 5:25 pm

Super!
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » March 5th, 2018, 5:47 pm

I love that! :lol:
I either win, or I learn
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Zosherooney » March 5th, 2018, 7:02 pm

Big groan here..... I had to ask Mr. Z. to explain it.... :oops: Kool, don't bring any more like that next Saturday....
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby karadekoolaid » March 6th, 2018, 7:48 am

Hahaha! I've got about 200 more, no problem!!
" Bite off more than you can chew, then chew like Hell!"
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Gruney » March 11th, 2018, 8:15 am

Chap driving down a country lane, when a cockerel runs out in front of him. He has no time to stop, and the cockerel is killed. There is a farmhouse opposite. He knocks on the door, which is opened by the farmer.

"I'm afraid I've just run over your cockerel - it was a pure accident, but I feel bad about it, and I'd like to replace it."

"Oh - that's very good of you. The hens are round the back."
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » March 11th, 2018, 10:18 am

:o :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby dennispc » April 20th, 2018, 1:11 pm

Jack came home after playing a round of Sunday golf.
“How was your golf game, dear?” asked his wife, Lillian.
“Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went.”
“Well you’re 75 years old now, Jack, why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” suggested Lillian.
“But he’s 85 and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack.
“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” his wife pointed out.
The next opportunity Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway.
“Do you see it?” asked Jack.
“Yup,” Scott answered.
“Well, where is it?” yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
“I forgot.”
Every day is a good day, it's just that some days are better than others.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Zosherooney » April 29th, 2018, 5:01 pm

As it is Sunday....... and I don't normally post on here......

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac?…….. He spent most of the night thinking about a dog……..
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby Rainbow » April 30th, 2018, 10:31 pm

:lol: :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » June 19th, 2018, 3:01 pm

I wish people would stop criticising and frowning down on me when I breast feed in public. It is a very natural thing for any new mum to do, and it creates a strong bond between me and my dog.
I either win, or I learn
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » June 19th, 2018, 8:36 pm

:o :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby aero280 » June 21st, 2018, 12:38 pm

A shameless steal from the internet...

Insurance.jpg
http://www.saabtechtalk.com/
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby earthmaiden » June 21st, 2018, 1:09 pm

:lol: :lol:
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » June 21st, 2018, 1:30 pm

:lol:
I either win, or I learn
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » June 21st, 2018, 10:14 pm

I told my best friend today she'd drawn her eyebrows too high. She seemed very surprised.

(Sorry. That's terrible....)
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby slimpersoninside » June 22nd, 2018, 3:38 pm

TeresaFoodie wrote:I told my best friend today she'd drawn her eyebrows too high. She seemed very surprised.

(Sorry. That's terrible....)


Like it Teresa. Really made me laugh.
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby aero280 » June 22nd, 2018, 4:55 pm

It really is a terrible one, but I passed it on.... :D
http://www.saabtechtalk.com/
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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

Postby TeresaFoodie » June 22nd, 2018, 5:25 pm

:grin: :tu:
I either win, or I learn
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