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Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 13th, 2019, 9:07 pm
by Grasshopper
Like that one, Gruney!!!!
:bounce:
Grasshopper

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 14th, 2019, 4:45 am
by suffolk
Its the way you tell ‘em ... :lol: ;)

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 14th, 2019, 4:21 pm
by Gruney
Two elderly ladies paying their last respects to the husband of one of them.

The widow says - "Such a shame - he died because he wouldn't tell anyone his blood group. But he was brave until the end - I'll always remember his last words of encouragement to me - be positive".

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 14th, 2019, 4:40 pm
by Oat
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 14th, 2019, 7:30 pm
by Grasshopper
:lol: *groans* :lol:
:lol:
Grasshopper

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 15th, 2019, 2:12 pm
by suffolk
Oh dear oh dear oh dear :rolleyes: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 15th, 2019, 2:22 pm
by earthmaiden
:? :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 15th, 2019, 9:22 pm
by TeresaFoodie
:lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 30th, 2019, 4:58 pm
by suffolk
Not really a joke ... but Chatterbox didn’t feel the right place for a sort of amusing foodie news item today

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/h ... 1.html?amp

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: August 30th, 2019, 5:53 pm
by earthmaiden
Funny - but what the dickens was flour to be used to feed the public doing being transported like that? :?

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: September 4th, 2019, 2:18 pm
by Gruney
Caesar manages to get a couple of tickets for the final - for himself and Brutus.

He arrives well before the start, and is enjoying the match, but no Brutus.

Eventually, Brutus turns up. "Sorry I'm late, Caesar - there was a traffic accident - chariots all over the place. What's the score?"

Caesar replied





Eight - two Brute.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: September 4th, 2019, 2:26 pm
by suffolk
:rolleyes: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 12th, 2019, 11:48 am
by Gruney
An American travels to the West Coast of Ireland, to find out how they conduct their elections.

Well, says the local, you go into the little booth with a piece of paper showing a list of the people standing - you'll see a pencil, and you just put a cross againt the one you like the look of. The one with the most crosses wins.

The American - this all seems very simple, but aren't you worried about security?

No, says the old lad - we've thought about that. We tie a piece of string to the end of the pencil.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 12th, 2019, 12:00 pm
by suffolk
:tu: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 12th, 2019, 12:08 pm
by aero280
:tu: :tu:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 12th, 2019, 12:43 pm
by aero280
Well, we hve just been to vote and I can confirm that all the pencils were present and tied on with string! :)

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 19th, 2019, 11:16 am
by scullion

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 19th, 2019, 11:58 am
by suffolk
You have to laugh or you’d cry and cry and cry ... and it’s wet enough around here and he’s proved he’s no help in a flood ... https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/11/boris-jo ... -11077415/

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: December 19th, 2019, 3:40 pm
by earthmaiden
I'm sure there is a 'Should've gone to Specsavers' joke there somewhere.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: January 4th, 2020, 11:14 pm
by Gruney
In 1827, Beethoven died. The general feeling was that he should be put in a glass coffin, with all his accoutrements, for the general public to pay their respects to the great man.

All went well for well over 100 years, until one day, there was a terrible scream from a lady visitor.

The curator rushed to the scene - "whatever's the matter, madam?"

"It was terrible - he moved".

"What do you mean, he moved?"

"He picked up his rubber, and started to wipe it over his manuscript!"

"Oh that's all right, madam - he's just slowly decomposing".

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: January 5th, 2020, 4:52 am
by suffolk
:rolleyes: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: January 31st, 2020, 4:06 pm
by aero280
The Germans do have a sense of humour! :o

In their equivalent of the "Daily Mash", etc. there is an article warning all Germans to search through their Euro coins and spend the British issued ones "because they will be worthless after midnight" :D They even include pictures showing the way to identify British coins...

https://www.der-postillon.com/2020/01/b ... enzen.html

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: January 31st, 2020, 8:39 pm
by scullion
aero280 wrote:The Germans do have a sense of humour!


if you ask the newer mercedes onboard, alexa/siri type thing to tell you a joke, it tells you that it's german and therefore has no sense of humour.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: January 31st, 2020, 9:18 pm
by earthmaiden
The depiction of fish and chips is humorous if nothing else!

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 3rd, 2020, 8:53 pm
by hickybank
Having one of those embarrassing moments, when you realise there is no toilet paper & you have to do that awkward waddle with your trousers half down.
But not to worry I am almost at Aldi now.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 3rd, 2020, 9:01 pm
by suffolk
:shock: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 6th, 2020, 2:19 pm
by Gruney
Inspired by the Naturewatch thread.

Two cormorants on a perch. One says to the other - "Can you smell fish?"

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 6th, 2020, 2:22 pm
by suffolk
:lol: :lol: :lol: :tu:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 6th, 2020, 9:35 pm
by Gruney
Apparently Liverpool FC tried to use Yul Brynner in an advertising campaign for a men's deoderant. It didn't take off. Yul never wore cologne.

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 6th, 2020, 9:44 pm
by earthmaiden
:lol: groan- where do you get them from Gruney?

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 6th, 2020, 10:06 pm
by hickybank
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 6th, 2020, 10:36 pm
by suffolk
Oh dear oh dear oh dear ............ :lol:

Re: THE DAILY YOKE

PostPosted: February 9th, 2020, 8:59 pm
by Grasshopper
*groans*
:lol:
Grasshopper