Looking after our parents (part 2)

Order yourself a latte, and a pastry (The virtual cinnamon buns are excellent today). And have a nice chat.

Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » October 7th, 2018, 1:38 pm

Last night mother chose a simple margherita pizza and devoured probably 65% of it, accompanied by a cinzano bianco and tonic :shock:
She was as right as ninepence again this morning.
J caught her trying to crush one of her tablets with a hammer though :rolleyes:

I have to say the aroma of cinzano bianco took me back to the 1970s.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Ratatouille » October 7th, 2018, 1:48 pm

That is just wonderful WW. So glad you both enjoyed it.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Seatallan » October 7th, 2018, 3:42 pm

suffolk wrote:They took far more notice of her than they ever did of me because I was their daughter


Absolutely Suffs! :D

It's the same with other people's mums in my experience. Always far easier to deal with a friend's mum than your own. My dear departed friend had a very spiky relationship with her mum (both before and after she started to suffer from dementia) but she's generally good as gold with me. Whereas my mum thought dear, departed friend knew far more than I did. ;)
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Amber » October 7th, 2018, 10:23 pm

Ooh, I could just fancy a Cinzano Branco now. Neat for me though.

My mum wouldn’t listen to me, her only child, at all, but on the other hand, everything my husband said, or did, was ‘perfect’. :cry:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » October 8th, 2018, 3:44 pm

Yep, if I know there will be resistance I get J to speak to her.
Never fails.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby scullion » October 9th, 2018, 7:51 am

Amber wrote:My mum wouldn’t listen to me [...] at all, but on the other hand, everything my husband said, or did, was ‘perfect’.

same here.
i only came out of nappies (metaphorically) when i had my first child and the only time she said that i was more intelligent than both her and my brother was (on the way back from college in london) over a crossword - because, she said, i knew when i didn't know an answer and they would carry on trying to think of it!
nothing at all to do with iq or level of tertiary education.
my daughter, as a teenager, was listened to more than me - i think i came at the bottom of the 'intelligence ladder' where my mother was concerned - well bellow the carers, our cat and her coffee table!
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby earthmaiden » October 9th, 2018, 9:15 am

There is of course the other way round. After a lifetime of being put down by my mother she would gushingly sing my praises to all and sundry once in the care home. She had chosen a care home which was nearly a 6 hour return trip for me so her welfare and the extensive care required really was in the hands of the lovely staff there. I probably visited on average for a few
hours every 10 days. I would cringe as she told them how wonderful I was and how I did so much for her.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » October 9th, 2018, 9:24 am

For the last year or so Ma frequently had no idea who I was ... but as she she said once I was probably someone important ... possibly the family solicitor ...
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
― Virginia Woolf
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » October 9th, 2018, 9:34 am

I think my pal summed it up perfectly - a few of us were at mother's house, one person had not met her before.
She said "isn't Wordsworth's Mum a lovely woman"
Pal responded - quite accurately - "Yes, to everyone except Wordsworth"

As I teenager I would avoid being alone with her because she would always tell me I was fat, spotty, my hair was a mess etc
Never did it in front of other people.
Thinking about it, I still avoid being alone with her
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 9th, 2018, 7:23 pm

Just in from yoga, message on the machine from brother.
He is following the ambulance, mother being admitted with chest pains. :cry:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 9th, 2018, 7:47 pm

Oh dear Wordsworth hope all sorts out with the ambulance

If I ever looked in the mirror - for example to apply lipstick or straighten my hair, my mother would pull a face and inform me that nobody else would care to look at me so I needn’t bother. I think this was supposed to prevent vanity rather than confidence
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Herbidacious » November 9th, 2018, 7:57 pm

Fingers crosses it's ok, WW. Very worrying.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 9th, 2018, 8:14 pm

Just had text from brother.
She hasn't been seen yet, they are both ravenous and she's worrying about the neighbours seeing her return home in her slippers!
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » November 9th, 2018, 9:56 pm

Fingers crossed WW :hug:
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
― Virginia Woolf
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby uschi » November 10th, 2018, 8:58 am

Good vibes coming from over here WW!!!!
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Busybee » November 10th, 2018, 9:24 am

Got everything crossed here WW

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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby earthmaiden » November 10th, 2018, 9:35 am

Do hope all is ok. xx
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 10th, 2018, 9:53 am

Hope all is OK WWorfsworth
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Seatallan » November 10th, 2018, 10:00 am

Sending positive vibes WW :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Ratatouille » November 10th, 2018, 10:35 am

I do hope she gets seen soon and all is well WW. :hug: :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby jrc » November 10th, 2018, 11:47 am

Love from us WW :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Zosherooney » November 10th, 2018, 6:48 pm

WW :hug: :luv: :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 10th, 2018, 10:31 pm

Unstable angina
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 10th, 2018, 10:41 pm

That’s the diagnosis?
Hopefully they can do something to stabilise it :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 11th, 2018, 6:35 pm

This afternoon she had no pain, was not gasping for breath, asked for ice cream and wants to go home.
She's seeing the cardiologist tomorrow.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » November 11th, 2018, 8:49 pm

Pa was a great believer in (and example of) the curative powers of ice cream.
I hope the cardiologist is happy with her tomorrow. :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 12th, 2018, 2:41 pm

I had to drive back home last night (2 hours) for work today.
No news from hospital yet other than she's comfortable.
Bro is being kept informed.

My cousin (a retired Matron) rang and was told she still hasn't seen the cardiologist.
I'm sure it wasn't like that in her day! :lol:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 15th, 2018, 3:57 pm

So, the diagnosis was changed from unstable angina to a heart attack.
That scared her a bit but I don't think she heard everything that was said to her.
She said to bro that they had told her she had a heart condition.
Bro replied that yes, she has had a heart condition for some time and we knew about it, now she has the correct meds for the condition.

She was discharged home on Tuesday - 91 years old and lives alone :?
Bro offered to stay the night but she declined, said she hadn't slept well in hospital and was going to have a sandwich and a (proper) cup of tea and go to bed.

She was OK Wed morning but the evening carer found her sitting on the stairs :shock:

Bro texted this morning to say he had been at her house since 0630.
He said she was OK but had gone to bed with all the lights on, the TV blaring (she's v deaf) and THE ANGINA SPRAY LEFT DOWNSTAIRS.

She has agreed to our suggestion that she goes into a care home until she feels better.
Admits she is frightened being alone at the moment - and who wouldn't be?

Fortunately the care home research was done a couple of months ago (without her knowledge)
Bro has been in touch with the preferred one, assessment tomorrow afternoon and they have a vacancy.

Let's hope she likes it and decides to stay.

My cousin has been with her this afternoon and reports that she seems to be hallucinating a bit.
I suspect dehydration.

Sister arriving at Mum's tonight and staying until Sunday but all 3 of us are feeling the pressure.
I guess it's nothing to the pressure Mum is feeling though.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Chinchilla_lady » November 15th, 2018, 4:17 pm

Oh dear WW. She may have a UTI, if she didnt drink a lot in hospital she could well be dehydrated. Can anyone get a sample and get it checked? Fingers crossed for you all. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 15th, 2018, 4:18 pm

WWordsworth :hug:

Well, the good news is the care home stay, that should make everyone feel a bit more comfortable, and she was discharged quite fast, so presumably she made a fair recovery

But obviously very worrying for you all
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Seatallan » November 15th, 2018, 4:36 pm

Tell you what, WW, that's exactly what happened with my father. He had a mild heart attack (and a UTI on top) and agreed to go to a local nursing home whilst he was recovering. He enjoyed it so much that he was gung-ho for moving permanently by the time he came out. It was all rather traumatic at the time but it didn't half work out for the best in the end. Hope it is the same for you. :hug: :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » November 15th, 2018, 4:49 pm

Hope the situation improves quickly and that she (and the rest of you) get a decent nights sleep tonight. :hug: the tree
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 15th, 2018, 5:14 pm

J is due home about 7pm and we are having a proper dinner tonight instead of the rubbish we have had this week.
2 lovely fillets of sea bass are defrosting.
I might need a drop of gin soon.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » November 15th, 2018, 5:59 pm

I’ll have one with you WW :cocktail: :cocktail:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Ratatouille » November 15th, 2018, 7:25 pm

Add me to the gin participation :cocktail: I hope the care home option turns out for the best and mum and the family get a more tranquil life :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby earthmaiden » November 15th, 2018, 7:51 pm

:hug: :hug: WW. Glad to hear you are all able to rally round for now and hope that the care home stay works out positively.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby uschi » November 15th, 2018, 8:59 pm

WW, fingers crossed that she will make the right decision!!!
I, too, spent the day at the hospital with Axel, waiting six and a half hours for the operation and two more hours for him to emerge from the wake-up room. Until I had him installed in his room it was past five.

I think we all need a bit of down time soon.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 15th, 2018, 9:08 pm

Sorry to hear your chap is unwell Uschi.
Hope he recovers well
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 15th, 2018, 9:13 pm

wWordsworth
Hope it was a good dinner

Uschi
Hope Axel makes a good recovery, everything crossed for you both
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby uschi » November 15th, 2018, 9:20 pm

Thanks Sue! It's the second OP, so we know a bit better to expect. I hope to get him back on Monday!
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Zosherooney » November 16th, 2018, 3:48 am

Oh dear, you two seem to be going through the mill ATM, my best wishes to you both and hope your loved ones continue to receive the care they seem to be getting :hug: :hug: for you both
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » November 16th, 2018, 5:50 am

Uschi :hug: hope Axel recovers well from the op.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Seatallan » November 16th, 2018, 9:01 am

Good wishes and healing vibes from me too Uschi. :hug: :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Ratatouille » November 16th, 2018, 9:15 am

Get well soon Axel.

Hope you had a more peaceful evening WW
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby WWordsworth » November 17th, 2018, 4:23 pm

Pneumonia.
She was taken back into hospital in the early hours .
IV antibiotics and she seems to be doing OK.
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 17th, 2018, 5:32 pm

Oh dear WW, hope the antibiotics do the trick
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby Chinchilla_lady » November 17th, 2018, 5:33 pm

Fingers crossed WW :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby uschi » November 17th, 2018, 5:35 pm

Axel was discharged today. I was quite amazed and pleased.
I'll go over to his place in about an hour.

Wordsworth, good vibes and wishes coming from over here!!! :hug:
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby StokeySue » November 17th, 2018, 5:37 pm

That’s good Uschi! Hope he continues to do wrll
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Re: Looking after our parents (part 2)

Postby suffolk » November 17th, 2018, 6:58 pm

Great news Uschi :D ... our very good wishes to you both :hug: :tu:
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