by Zosherooney » September 29th, 2017, 10:35 am
Quite topical ATM... Please excuse the swearing...
A man is sat having a drink in an airport lounge, waiting for his flight to be called.
As he is sat there a stunning woman walks into the bar and sits on the bar-stool next to him. She is wearing a uniform and he thinks "She must be cabin crew for one of the top airlines. I'll find out which one by running some of their advertising slogans past her."
Thinking it might be British Airways, he says "The worlds favourite airline?"
She looks at him a little quizzically, but says nothing and just goes back to her drink.
So he thinks "Maybe it's Singapore Airlines," and says "A better way to fly?"
Again she looks at him, but says nothing and goes back to her drink.
So he thinks "Maybe it's Thai Airlines. Their tagline is "As smooth as Silk""
So he says to her "As smooth as silk?"
She turns to him and says, very aggressively "What the fuck do you want?"
And he says "Ahhhh...RyanAir!”
Micheal O'Leary, arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replies, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.
"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition," said the barman, "and we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8 p.m. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland."
"That is remarkable value," comments Michael.
"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably be needing one of ours. That will be 3 euros please."
O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euros. You could have pre-booked the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro. Also, I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please?"
Michael attempts to sit in the frame but it is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains, "Nobody would fit in that little frame".
"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of 4 euros for your seat sir."
O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous. I've had enough, What sort of bar is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"
"Here is his E-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday by dialing this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cents per second."
"I will never use this bar again!"
"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro.”